In this episode:
In this episode, I talk with daughter and mom, Blythe Daniel and Dr. Helen McIntosh, about experiencing restoration and healed hearts in broken mother-daughter relationships. They talk about their book, Mended, and share their story of how Helen turned a difficult childhood into a ministry.
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In this episode, we focused on mothers and daughters and the relationships between them. I enjoyed having guests Blythe Daniel and her mom, Dr. Helen McIntosh to talk about how God can mend broken or strained relationships.
Blythe Daniel is a literary agent and marketer with more than 20 years of experience in publishing. She has written for Proverbs 31 Ministries, Focus on the Family, Ann Voskamp, Christian Retailing, and she links bloggers with readers through the agency’s blog network. The daughter of Dr. Helen McIntosh, she lives in Colorado with her husband and three children.
Dr. Helen McIntosh (EdD, Counseling Psychology) is a counselor, speaker, educator, and author of Messages to Myself and Eric, Jose & The Peace Rug®. Her work has appeared in Guideposts, ParentLife, and HomeLife magazines. She resides in Georgia with her husband Jim. They have two children and five grandchildren.
Dr. Helen talked a little about her difficult childhood and Blythe shared how her mom’s experience affected their relationship growing up. We discussed unhealthy generational patterns in family relationships and how we can break the cycle.
“We believe that there is always hope for you concerning your relationship with your mom or daughter, no matter if she is in your life or not. There is always hope that we can be restored in how we have experienced our mother or daughter, available through the power and provision that God gives us to reconcile our hearts to him and to each other.” —Blythe Daniel
Dr. Helen walked through tough circumstances with her mom growing up and she has turned those experiences around; she is also a licensed counselor and helps others reframe what has happened to them and start conversations toward healing. We discussed some of the ways to begin those conversations. We also discussed how someone can find healing, even if their mother has passed away or is estranged from them.
A big focus in our conversation was on forgiveness, so be sure to listen to the audio (player at the top of this post, or on your favorite platform) to get the full conversation.
“We don’t have to walk around feeling defeated in our relationships with our mother or daughter. There is victory when we believe and act upon the fact that we don’t have to live with anxiousness or the uncertainty in our relationships . . . We can talk about what’s between us and learn to recognize patterns and initiate forgiveness even if you don’t have a good relationship or she is no longer in your life.”—Blythe Daniel
Blythe and Helen want listeners to know you really can be set free, no longer enslaved to the weight of the conflict between you.
This week’s resource is Mended: Restoring the Hearts of Mothers and Daughters by Blythe Daniel and Dr. Helen McIntosh.
Ever wonder why mothers and daughters have such a difficult relationship and how to even talk the same language?
Mended gives you conversation starters to speak life into your relationship with your mother or daughter. Discover powerful words that usher in healing for wounded hearts and rebuild, restore, and reconcile your connection. Set new patterns for your relationship and family line going forward.
Through Scripture, prayer and practical applications, you can...
- find common ground and put your relationship ahead of your differences
- learn what you can say when you don’t know what to say
- grow closer when you do hard things together
- resist trying to control or change each other
- share your heart but not shove it on the other
If you have a rocky history with your mother or daughter, you don’t have to continue those patterns of brokenness. God wants to mend your heart and make you whole. Sometimes we don’t get the mending we want when we’d like it. But you want to get to a place where you can say, “My heart is mended even if my relationship isn’t yet, and I am okay regardless. My peace is not dependent on the other person.”
When you put God above the magnitude of the hard in your lives, you will not be unthreaded. The hard may get harder, but you are mended to God. Your heart toward your mother or daughter should not be pulled apart but made tighter.
More about the book:
I invite you to check out their website ourmendedhearts.com. There are some conversation starters there and a lot of shareable graphics.
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(Please note: books posted here on my blog are purely because I want to share them. Sometimes I receive free copies for review, and other times I purchase the books. Some I get from the library. Either way, any endorsement I offer here on the blog is simply because I want to talk about the book. ) *This post contains affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, if you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission. I sell my ebook via Amazon but I’m also a part of their “Associates” (i.e. affiliate) program which pays a commission on books and any other Amazon products people purchase via my links.
Michelle Rayburn is the author of The Repurposed and Upcycled Life: When God Turns Trash to Treasure, as well as a small group Bible study to accompany the book. Learn more about these and her other books here. A sample chapter of the book and Bible study are available for free download.
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This post contains affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, if you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission. I sell my ebook via Amazon but I’m also a part of their “Associates” (i.e. affiliate) program which pays a commission on books and any other Amazon products people purchase via my links.