Life, Repurposed
Tips for Understanding Someone Who Isn’t Like You
- Ask questions with a gentle approach. Questions are fine, but rather than demanding an answer, I have learned to cultivate genuine curiosity and a desire to know more about them. Not because I plan to change to their beliefs, but because I want to know them as a human being. I’m open to someone asking me about my beliefs too.
- Set aside fear and pursue love. I devoted a whole episode to this recently. See episode number 33 on Love Over Fear.
- Listen and learn. Read articles from multiple points of view. Collect information from more than just your favorite sources (those can be biased). I’m going to share the book in the resources section, but when I listened to Love Thy Neighbor: A Muslim Doctor's Struggle for Home in Rural America
by Dr. by Ayaz Virji, I learned that even though the author's beliefs are different from mine, and I disagree with some of them, he also doesn’t believe the way that some news stations would want me to think he believes. More on that in the resources at the end. Listening and learning has taught me something that I have missed in my understanding. - Look for common threads. I might have a totally different stance on sacraments of the church, the Bible, politics, etc. but I can still enjoy discussion and pursuit of social connections with someone if I don’t use our relationship to press my views. (If someone presses their beliefs, that could end a relationship for me. I don't do angry interactions with pointing fingers.)
- Apologize when you offend, but don’t be ashamed of your differences. I don’t pretend to think the same way as someone who is politically or religiously different from me. But I am not ashamed of being different. I have to keep my thoughts and emotions in check though, because without realizing it, I can drift toward making excuses when I cross a line and offend someone else. There is no excuse for mean behavior, even when we disagree. If I cross that line, it doesn't compromise my beliefs and integrity to admit it.
Recommended Resources
The book that I want to recommend is Love Thy Neighbor: A Muslim Doctor's Struggle for Home in Rural America
by Dr. by Ayaz Virji. It’s published by Convergent Books. Convergent Books is the newest religion imprint from the Crown Publishing Group. It publishes nonfiction for progressive and mainline Christians who demand an open, inclusive and culturally engaged exploration of issues related to faith. Many Christians won’t agree with everything that is written under this imprint. But if you’re reading to try to understand another person, I encourage you to be willing to stretch yourself.
Let me tell you about Love Thy Neighbor.
In 2013, Dr. Ayaz Virji left a comfortable job at an East Coast hospital and moved to a town of 1,400 in Minnesota, feeling called to address the shortage of doctors in rural America. But in the 2016 election, his children faced anti-Muslim remarks at school and some of his most loyal patients began questioning whether he belonged in the community.
Virji wanted out. But in 2017, just as he was lining up a job in Dubai, a local pastor invited him to speak at her church and address misconceptions about what Muslims practice and believe. That invitation has grown into a well-attended lecture series that has changed hearts and minds across the state, while giving Virji a new vocation that he never would have expected.
In Love Thy Neighbor, Virji relates his personal story of faith and personal conviction, and he shares a message to help grow understanding in America's heartland.
I found it enlightening and helpful. We don’t believe the same way, but he doesn’t set out to try to make it seem that way. Instead, he tries to help the reader see that some of the very same accusations that have been thrown his way could also apply to Christians.
As you live your own repurposed life, I encourage you to look for where your own assumptions get in the way of seeing people as humans. Seek to understand before trying to convert someone to your conviction.
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(Please note: books posted here on my blog are purely because I want to share them. Sometimes I receive free copies for review, and other times I purchase the books. Some I get from the library. Either way, any endorsement I offer here on the blog is simply because I want to talk about the book. ) *This post contains affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, if you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission. I sell my ebook via Amazon but I’m also a part of their “Associates” (i.e. affiliate) program which pays a commission on books and any other Amazon products people purchase via my links.