10 Things I’d Change About the Last 21 Years of Marriage

Today, my husband and I celebrate 21 years of marriage. We started dating 25 years ago and I can hardly remember life without him. 21 years is a great feat considering where our society is. And yet, when I look at his grandparents who have been married for 73 years, I can hardly process it in my mind. To think that 52 years ago they were like us and to think that they’ve been together three times as long as we have…well, it’s just unbelievable. It makes us look like babies yet.
Speaking of babies, now that I look back at our wedding picture, we really were babies then! Wow. At the time, my age of 20 and his of 23 seemed old. Now that Phil is older than my own father was when we got married, I see things from a different perspective. But we were in love and time has proven that we had what it takes to stay married. However, as I look back, there are some things I’d do differently if I had the opportunity to re-live our first 21  years.
  1. I’d spend more time listening and less time talking.
  2. I would  hand out more compliments and a lot less criticism.
  3. I’d be more patient with the differences between my mother-in-law and me. And I’d put my husband in the middle less.
  4. I would say “I love you” more and “You forgot to..” or “Why didn’t you..” less.
  5. I would spend less time in my office and more time on the couch with him.
  6. I would smile more.
  7. I wouldn’t pretend I didn’t hear him when he says his back hurts and a massage would be nice.
  8. I wouldn’t be so bossy.
  9. I’d try harder not to expect him to be perfect.
  10. I’d let him pay all the bills and balance the checkbook. Hee, hee.
Looking at my list, I realize that I still can do most of those things. And if we end up with another 52 years together, like Grandpa and Grandma had, wouldn’t it be like having the chance to do it all over again, twice?

How about you? What would you do differently? How many years have you been married? If you aren’t married, what have you observed in married couples that you would do differently in your own marriage someday?
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